Last night, Chris and I were laying in bed watching CNN, Fox News, and our local news broadcast. We were laying there, trying to wrap our heads around the tragic event that occurred at the Boston Marathon. No matter how many times we watched the reports, interviews, videos, it just didn't increase our understanding, and to be honest, I don't think we will ever be able to fully understand this. Ultimately, we won't be able to fully understand what drives a human(s) to do evil and unfathomable things.

One thing Chris said to me last night, that has certainly resonated, was I'm scared to attend big events like this, what if this could happen here? I find myself fighting it, as if I don't want to agree with how Chris is feeling. On one hand, yes, it makes me scared, nervous, and paranoid, but on the other hand, I can't allow myself to live in fear, to stop living my life because of fearing that evil things will happen. 

It's important that I don't allow myself to fear what other people do. There is no control over what other people decide to do, especially random acts of terrorism. That's one thing I need to make myself understand because it's the only thing I can take from the tragedy at the Boston Marathon. Those innocent people were not expecting something like that to happen to them. They were having fun, cheering on their friends and family in the race. They were living their lives, and for a person(s) to want to hurt that and take it away from them is just so awful.

A haiku by Tyler Knott to soothe my thoughts:

"Starting with ourselves

We'll change the world around us

We will make it more"

Love, Carly Nicole